The Isolation of Authenticity

"Human beings easily become alienated from their own deepest needs and feelings. Learning, thinking, innovation, and maintaining contact with one’s own inner world are all facilitated by solitude.” - Anthony Storr

When I chose to study cultural anthropology, I suppose that deep down I was trying to understand how people come to accept certain 'shared' beliefs and customs - even when they are in contradiction to their personal desires. The rules and mores that have been ingrained in us by family, school, and popular media don't always resonate with our authentic sense of self. Unfortunately, the pressure to conform is ever-present.

Choosing to live an unapologetically authentic life can feel isolating at first. Many quickly embrace this, favoring a degree of alienation over forcibly muting their true thoughts and feelings. It's a choice usually borne from hardship, triggered by some event or experience that prompts intense soul-searching and a reshuffling of paradigms. When weighing the heaviness of wearing a mask against the stillness of isolation, solitude usually wins. Most find it far less draining to be alone by themselves than to hide their loneliness in a crowd.

Ethnobotanist and advocate for psychedelics Terence McKenna famously said: "The reason we feel alienated is because the society is infantile, trivial, and stupid. So the cost of sanity in this society is a certain level of alienation."

Many of the greatest minds in philosophy and psychology have written at length about the power of stepping away from the crowd. Carl Jung believed isolation was necessary to re-establish contact with one's true self. He also spoke extensively on the importance of the 'dark night of the soul' as a catalyst for great transformation. This existential and deeply spiritual crisis is something one can only experience alone, and the lessons it imparts can only be interpreted within the context of one's innermost truth.

The most interesting people I have ever met endured a very trying period of self-realization. A crucial element of this time involved shedding those socially conditioned ideals that didn't serve their unique brand of personal happiness. The end result always entailed a significantly reduced social circle, some disapproving family members, prevailing judgement from staunch conformists - and ultimately, a depth of internal satisfaction and peace that no degree of outside approval could ever rival.

As one continues to live authentically, they will eventually attract their Tribe. They will discover those who are more intrinsically aligned to the same ideals and dreams. The feeling of isolation will transform into outward expansion as one develops more meaningful connections that support and nurture their continued individual growth.

Keep choosing You. Believe in your own unique vision for your life. The path will unfold organically before your very eyes.

Photos: My partner Colin and I spent the Thanksgiving holiday with Lupin in a remote cabin nestled in the Northeast Kingdom of Vermont. Just the three of us. We have wanted to do this for years, and celebrated finally having the means to make it a reality. It was peaceful, quiet, and the star gazing was phenomenal.